The Mystery of the missing sex educator
by dark faerie woman thing
Summary: Blue and the gang are teens! Joe hires a sex educator...But she goes missing!This story is rated TF for to funny. New chap up soon! The internet book still unnamed will be written by my friend etoin heat. look for her
1. Missing?

Disclaimer: What IS a disclaimer?

Note: None of the Blue's Clues characters belong to me. Janice Wong is my own character based on my last year's grade 9 sex-ed teacher.

Chapter 1: Missing?

There was a knock at the door of the small cartoon house that Blue and Joe had called home since Steve's death three years before. They had kept the house even after the show had ended in its up-teenth season. Blue ran to the door and opened the door with his front paws, a skill he had now mastered. It was Magenta. She had come for the meeting.

"Why exactly were we called here?" she said in an annoyed tone. Joe had called The Gang the night before to tell them he had something important to tell them about they're up coming adolescence.

"I don't know," said Blue." Joe refuses to tell me anything. Don't you, Joe?" The short 36 years old had entered into the front hall.

"Don't worry, Blue. I'll tell everyone as soon as they get here," said Joe "Are they coming, Magenta? Do you know who is coming?"

"Everyone is coming as far as I'm sure." Magenta replied. The bell rang again. The door was already opened, so Mrs. Pepper just led Paprika into the house.

"Howdy-doody, Joe! I haven't seen you since my divorce!" Mrs. Pepper and Mr. Salt had got a divorce the summer before and Mrs. Pepper had got to keep Paprika 'because Salt had drinking problems.

There were more friendly hellos as everyone else filed into the room and sat down. When everyone had arrived, Joe shushed everyone and started his explanation.

"I've called you all here to tell you something very important," announced Joe." As all of you know, you are all going to be teens soon. And with adolescence comes responsibility, but also confusion. So I've hired a sex educator to come every Tuesday for two or three months to teach you all you need to know. I hope there are no objections, but you all have to be there. Any questions?"

"Yeah," said Magenta sarcastically. "Are you sure we absolutely have to come? What if we just...don't show up?"

"You will show up," said Joe. "Janice Wong is a very nice woman. Is there any other questions?" No one said anything. "Now that that is settled, you can all go home. Please come next Tuesday at four o'clock."

The next Tuesday everyone was seated in the living room of Joe's house. Joe counted down the minutes. Janice was supposed to be there at four o'clock sharp. The minutes passed...3:45...3:59...4:00!

"She should be here any second..." said Joe anxiously. But then ten minutes passed. Ten more minutes... At 4:30 the phone rang. Blue ran over and picked it up.

"Yes...UN-huh...okay," Blue said nervously into the phone. Finally he hung up.

"That was Janice's husband," said Blue sadly. "He wanted to tell us that Janice is...well...MISSING!"

**What do you think? It's really dumb, huh? REVEW IT, OR ELSE!**


	2. A disscusion and unexpected news

**Disclaimer: None of the Blue's Clues characters belong to me.**

**Note: Janice Wong is my own character based on my last year's grade 9 sex-ed teacher. I'm not sure if this chapter is as good as the last.**

**Chapter 2: A Discussion...and an in expected visitor**

"Missing...," repeated Joe slowly. He absent-mindedly stumbled over to the stereo and pressed play. The sounds of Gorilaz' absurd hip-hop broke him out of his daze. He hurriedly switched the music off, not wanting anyone to find out his guilty pleasure.

"Where were we? Oh yeah...missing...okay...," He took a minute or two to let it sink in. But his moment was broken suddenly by a snide remark from the back of the room.

"So, what the fuck are we supposed to do?" said Magenta, half annoyed, half angry. "I mean, you and Blue are supposed to "save the day" and all that crap! Get some backbone, dreamer boy!"

At that, Blue spoke up.

"But Magenta, we don't really know how to do those things," he said. "The producers wrote it all! You know that!" Every one was silent in wait of Magenta's response to the remark. But when the voice finally spoke, it wasn't Magenta's. It belonged to Slippery Soap, who usually never said anything.

"Magenta is right," Slippery whispered, barely heard. "You guys actually can "save the day" or whatever Mag said. You guys can use your skills and solve this mystery the way you did on the show. Anyways, before he was on the show, Joe did research for the script, so that it would seem a bit more really to whatever adults watched the show with their kids, so he might know something about detecting." Everyone stared at Slippery in awe, surprised that she knew so much history. Suddenly Joe clapped, bringing everyone's attention to the front of the room.

"Now that that is settled, I will bring all the attention back to the front of the room so that I can announce the beginning of our first real case, which of course, we will the help of all of you for...stuff...so, yeah...how should we start?"

"Maybe we should start by questioning someone," suggested Shovel, who loved making up the most obscure questions and riddles and asked them to anybody listening.

"Good idea, but who?" asked Blue.

"Someone close to her...," said Joe thoughtfully. "Like... her husband!"

Murmurs spread across the room. Everyone was probably debating on what they would say, and so on. Suddenly...

_Ding Dong!_

Blue got up and answered the door. It was Bob Bazil, Mrs. Pepper's boy-friend, who had come to pick her up from the meeting. He was wearing a purple double-breasted suit and an orange tie-die tie. Bob always dressed in weird colored suits without a shirt underneath, which Magenta called his "crazy shtick" behind his back.

"Hi, honey," said Bob when he saw Mrs. Pepper. "I was wondering if we could leave Paprika here and go that that new club downtown tonight. A friend from the rehab center wants to meet me there. Wanna come?"

"Sure honey," replied Mrs. Pepper. "But who is this man? Is he to be trusted?"

"Sure he is."

"What's his name?"

"Mr. Samuel Salt"

"Oh My lord! You mean to say you like this man? He is my ex, and is not to be trusted! Especially when clubbing!"

"He is fine! He has been in rehab for 3 months."

"I don't care! I'm not going and you're not either."

"Yes I'm going 'cause he is my friend. "

And it went on like that getting gradually more intense. After awhile Blue edged off the have a warm bath 'cause he thought girls could deal with it better. When Blue was three, he (then a she) fell into a magic cold river and turned into a boy. When he got home and had a warm bath, he became a she again.

After a while every body left.

What happens next will be in the next chapter.


End file.
